I walk a lonely road...

“Ek masala dosa” shouted the guy at the canteen counter. His harsh voice snapped me out of my reverie. How long had I been oblivious to the world around me? Five minutes. Usually any order placed in the ILS Canteen takes a minimum fifteen minutes ‘preparation time’. And usually I found the wait irritating. But today, the quick delivery irritated me. I had shut myself to the people around me, to the blur of faces swirling around me, to the merry cheer and chatter of the happy souls around me… I had numbed the pain with much difficulty… But it was not meant to be. I had to open my eyes. I had to look around my table. I had to register that for the first time, I was having lunch… alone!!
When it’s not your time, everything goes against you. Who was the smartass who propounded these words of wisdom? I agree with him completely and at the same time hate him for being so right. I didn’t see any friendly faces around with whom I could share a word… I miserably missed the hundred hands that tore the dosa from my plate… I didn’t even have my ear-phones so that I could hear some horribly loud track by “Bullet for my Valentine’ or ‘Infected Mushrooms’ to mute the world around me. Forcibly, I was asked to look at the world around me and be insanely jealous of them- jealous of the first year-ites in huge groups cracking stupid jokes and laughing their heart out; jealous of the gang of giggly girls who were so derilously happy to share a meal at the Canteen as if they were being given a free treat at ‘Soho’; jealous of the group of seniors who had covered the entire table with important looking documents and were sharing comments which can seem funny only to a law student! What had they done right and I had done wrong? Why does everyone have someone by their side and why am I so alone?
But someone intruded on my self pity-party. The intruder came with a loud vibration- It was an SMS which said ‘@kk!’. It said “Hey wassup? Class over? How was your orientation? Had lunch?” Simple, regular text? No way! It brought in a smile… it brought in a ray of hope… it brought the feeling that I was not as big a failure in the ‘friends department’ as I thought myself to be. And then the ILS Canteen, living upto its reputation of playing the exact song for the mood you are in, played the song from ‘Ta ra rum pum’- Raat hai toh savera bhi hoga! And as I imagined Shona from the movie with her bright smile in difficult times, a wave of tremendous hope washed over me. It truly is surprising when hardly realistic Bollywood moments actually inspire you.
But this time, it actually made me feel stronger. It actually brought out the optimist in me. Screw you all, I’ll bounce back, big time and better than before. Yes, if there is darkness there has to be light. Morning has to come, no matter how long the night.
This time again it’s not you… It’s me who has to hold that thought!!!