Nursery… the three year olds playing together. The shouts of Ringa Ringa Roses and Fire in the mountain. The Tiffin-sharing during the break. The practice for the Annual day function. The feeling that these friendships would last for a lifetime. But by the time we end up in first grade, these friends fade from our memory. They become a part of our dim and distant past. Like the new lunch boxes and pencil cases, we have a group of all new friends as well. It’s not a decided transition. It’s not a deeply moving incident. It doesn’t break your heart. It just happens.
But once you have these friendships formed, they become your life. You hang around together, you share your lunch, you bunk classes together and you get punished together on getting caught. You do each others homework and give each other’s proxy. You join tuitions together and run away from there to get cuppa at CCD. You grow up together… You come up with hare brained plans to convince your parents your poor attendance sheets are not your fault. You chase the same girl or guy, end up fighting for his/her phone number… and then say “Forget it yaar, s/he’s not worth our friendship!!” You have no idea what you are going to wear the next day, but you set up your friend’s wardrobe for the entire season. You never give your face even a touch up, but come armed with a war chest of make up articles to give your friend smoky eyes on her first date. You console them when they fight with their partner. You sit for hours with them, holding their hand, when they have a heart break. You hear them slam the guy or gal over and over again and now matter how repetitive they get, you never complain. You be there for them, even during the most basic competitions, where they are sure to win. You encourage them to follow their dreams, even if in your heart, you know its never going to work. Still you do all that you can to make their efforts a success. You are ever armed with a hug, in case those efforts fail. And ever ready with a surprise party if they somehow make it big!! You give an ear to their fear of dark or heights or enclosed places, without ridiculing them. You call them up at 1 at night, just to check out if they have fallen asleep. When they leave you for even a short vacation, you cancel all your important events to be with them. You call them, message them, send them smilies when they are away, even if those few minutes cost you thrice the amount than normal. You sit at CCD, or Barista’s, hour after hour, sipping a single cup of Tropical iceberg or Mochachillo, continuously talking, never realizing how easily the conversation flows between you. You pull each others leg and laugh like hell, never thinking it might hurt your friend’s ego… never thinking that you might have to apologise about it. And you don’t have to. Even your friend knows you were just kidding. You never sit down and ponder how important these friends are for you. Because they are your friends for life. Because the chemistry between you, the equations are never going to change for your friends. Because they cease to be a part of your life… and end up becoming your life!
And one fine day, this very friend grows up. You guys have different choices, you develop different identities. You need your own ‘space’ becomes the rampant thought. Bad company, wrong people, unwanted influence… every teenager goes through these. And we also end up coming out of these. The only thing is that in this ‘growing up’ process, we end up losing our friends. That very friend who meant the world to us, whose support was all that ever mattered. Maybe when we get over our illusion of ‘space’ and the rest of the teen pop-psychology, we do realize that how much that friend mattered and still matters to us. We do understand, that for all their scoldings n negativity, they had they best in their heart for us. But by then, it’s the equation that changes; it’s the intensity that changes. And no matter what, that bonding, once lost, can never be re-captured.
This is for every single friend I have lost till date, and there have been many. And I regret losing every single one of you. I don’t care whose mistake it was or who was responsible for the end of our relation. I want to thank you, for coming to my life and making it a little more special. And despite the endings, I remember you, with much fondness…
No comments:
Post a Comment