Of shattered dreams... and piercing reality!!

I love to win… no, not the title of the next book by Shiv Khera. You can call this my mantra in life. I am a strong believer in Darwin’s theory- the survival of the fittest. If you are the best, you can make it big. If you are not, you get eliminated. In today’s world of rat-race, you cannot take your own time to accomplish something. In fact, your timings don’t even matter. The other’s timing does. No matter how fast you are, if he’s faster than you, then your speed is thrown down the drain.

21^st century life is all about challenges. Reaching this goal, achieving that. And the funny thing is that there is no dearth of things you can want to achieve. I consider myself as someone who thrives on challenges. Competitions had a way of bringing out the best in me, of showing my fierce winning streak, of sharpening my skills. I loved the feel of going in front of that huge crowd and making such an impact that the other contestants would feel the heat. People get high on marijuana and cocaine. I used to get high on success! So why, you may ask, am I writing this piece? It’s to tell you about my first tryst with failure.

After completing my 10^th boards with a commendable 92.6%, I decided to go for what appealed to me and not for what others recommended. I decided to go for the Arts stream. But like they say, life has its own course for you. For the sole reason of not finding the right combination of subjects in an English medium college, I ended up taking Science. And allowed fate to take its course. What I didn’t know was that God was so amused by my love of challenges and was making one so complicated, that I would never be able to accomplish this one like the one’s I had done before. I started my studies and hated every moment of it. Studying something I had no interest in… and had no aptitude for. Studying just for the sake of clearing my 12^th. But still, the hunger to succeed never left me. Even when I was into something which didn’t appeal to me, I wanted to clear it with flying colours. But then, I found out that for my law entrance, I had to study five subjects that are nowhere related to Physics, Chemistry or Biology. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t balance the two. It was a nightmare, it was the ultimate test and I didn’t put in my best foot forward! So He decided to give me a blow…. And it struck real hard!

So today, here I am… 82% in my boards, a 130 in CLAT and a 107 in SET. I still can’t believe I blew it all. I am still finding it hard to get a foothold… I am still reeling in shock. But then, I am the one who advocates Darwin’s theory right? I am the one who says that only the best survive… so maybe there is no good lamenting about it anymore. Its amazing the kind of support I have received from my parents and friends, failures be damned. So maybe its time for me to take a break and smell the roses. But then, I promise myself to get my hunger back and chase my goal with a vengeance. When I know I can be the best, I might as well show that to the world. After all, the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams!!

This time, no suggestions for you. It’s me, who needs to hold that thought!!