Of shattered dreams... and piercing reality!!

I love to win… no, not the title of the next book by Shiv Khera. You can call this my mantra in life. I am a strong believer in Darwin’s theory- the survival of the fittest. If you are the best, you can make it big. If you are not, you get eliminated. In today’s world of rat-race, you cannot take your own time to accomplish something. In fact, your timings don’t even matter. The other’s timing does. No matter how fast you are, if he’s faster than you, then your speed is thrown down the drain.

21^st century life is all about challenges. Reaching this goal, achieving that. And the funny thing is that there is no dearth of things you can want to achieve. I consider myself as someone who thrives on challenges. Competitions had a way of bringing out the best in me, of showing my fierce winning streak, of sharpening my skills. I loved the feel of going in front of that huge crowd and making such an impact that the other contestants would feel the heat. People get high on marijuana and cocaine. I used to get high on success! So why, you may ask, am I writing this piece? It’s to tell you about my first tryst with failure.

After completing my 10^th boards with a commendable 92.6%, I decided to go for what appealed to me and not for what others recommended. I decided to go for the Arts stream. But like they say, life has its own course for you. For the sole reason of not finding the right combination of subjects in an English medium college, I ended up taking Science. And allowed fate to take its course. What I didn’t know was that God was so amused by my love of challenges and was making one so complicated, that I would never be able to accomplish this one like the one’s I had done before. I started my studies and hated every moment of it. Studying something I had no interest in… and had no aptitude for. Studying just for the sake of clearing my 12^th. But still, the hunger to succeed never left me. Even when I was into something which didn’t appeal to me, I wanted to clear it with flying colours. But then, I found out that for my law entrance, I had to study five subjects that are nowhere related to Physics, Chemistry or Biology. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t balance the two. It was a nightmare, it was the ultimate test and I didn’t put in my best foot forward! So He decided to give me a blow…. And it struck real hard!

So today, here I am… 82% in my boards, a 130 in CLAT and a 107 in SET. I still can’t believe I blew it all. I am still finding it hard to get a foothold… I am still reeling in shock. But then, I am the one who advocates Darwin’s theory right? I am the one who says that only the best survive… so maybe there is no good lamenting about it anymore. Its amazing the kind of support I have received from my parents and friends, failures be damned. So maybe its time for me to take a break and smell the roses. But then, I promise myself to get my hunger back and chase my goal with a vengeance. When I know I can be the best, I might as well show that to the world. After all, the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams!!

This time, no suggestions for you. It’s me, who needs to hold that thought!!

Cricket nahi... toh badminton hi sahi!!

Saina Nehwal wins First Ever Indonesian Open Super Series for India... screamed the morning headlines. Huh? Yesterday was the T20 world Cup Final n Saina is making front page news?? Incredible! I thought groggily. Then slowly, as sleep finally let go of me, I recollected that India had not reached the T20 finals. Tabhi toh... how else can some sportsman who plays anything other than cricket make front page news in India?

Out in here, cricket is religion. We Indians love the bandwagon mentality. Everyone becomes doctors and engineers... anything other than that is sub-standard. 6 year-olds have heard about IIT, but 16-year-olds have no idea about NLSIU, the Law School equivalent to IIT. Similarly, if you play cricket, people pat you on the back and gals get all starry-eyed! But try telling them you are the badminton or tennis champ, they'll probably ask that except for the raquets, what's different in the two games anyway? Out in here, cricket is The Game. So all other games can take a back seat, thank you very much, the front seat are reserved for the exclusive 11!!

We treat our cricketers as demi-gods. They are so adorned in their larger than life images that we often forget to treat them as ordinary human beings, capable of success and failure. Last year, when we won the T20 World Cup, there were talks about building a temple for Dhoni in Jharkhand. This year, the same people are burning his effigies and posters, spitting on him... makes you think how lucky Lord Ram and Krishna are, that they didn't play Cricket! One day the Reebok sales pick up because Dhoni endorses the brand... and the next day, the same clips are show on Aaj Tak with the headline, 'This is not the same Dhoni... this Dhoni runs after money!' Yes, we treat our cricketers like movie stars... which really makes no sense considering that they perform in something where winning and losing is inevitable!

But yes, the Cricketers too don't find absolute favour with me. When you are being called upon to be awarded the highest civilian honour by the President Of India, how can you refuse it? Can Michael Phelps refuse an invitation by President Obama?? Never! And mind you, that guy won EIGHT gold medals in a SINGLE Olympics... so what's this chip that Indian Cricketers have on their shoulder? But then again, maybe it’s ultimately us, who are at fault. Or else why did the Indian Government ignore Sushil Kumar and Vijendra Singh while considering this Award? That's it... when Cricketers do something, every other success is over-shadowed!

So in the present hopeless scenario, all you can do is hope... for a change. Hope that someday, people like Saina, V. Anand, Sania, Lee-Hesh, Baichung, Vijju, Sushil, Abhinav and numerous such unsung heroes from different sports will be treated with the respect they so deserve. Things must change; they will have to... for nothing is permanent in this world except change!!

Hold that thought!

Quota quota everywhere!!

19^th June 2009, The Times of India: State rams through 90% quota for SSC students.

Good Morning… yes, the morning is definitely good, because finally there’s a quota that works in my favour. Heaven knows what education minister Mr. Vikhe-Patil was thinking when he proposed a quota like that but nonetheless, its come as quite a relief to state board students, whose top percentages had always been eclipsed by the 98% scored by numerous students from the CBSE board, thanks to their very generous marking system… But this write-up is not about long standing State vs. CBSE debate. It’s about the very prevalent, very unfair quota system!

The caste difference, the concept of being (or unfortunately, not being) backward classes doesn’t hit you much, back in school. Toppers are toppers, marking system is equal, and no grace marks for being SC, ST or OBC. It first hits you when you go to junior college for admissions. When I was standing for the prospectus, I was really flummoxed when the clerk asked, “General or backward?” I was like, what the hell, how does it make a difference anyway? Still, I mumbled “General” and got hold of my prospectus. But as soon as I turned to the fees-structure page, I understood that her question was not baseless. It had a separate fees structure for the backward class! It came as a major shock! I mean what if someone is backward? His dad probably earns more than mine anyway, and still he’s the one who’s getting the concession? It seemed very unfair back then. But didn’t prick so much, because the college was Government aided and the fees were too nominal to be bothered about. Still, it ruffled me, maybe because it was my first tryst with inequality!

In due course, I learnt all the new terms related to this novel quota system- caste validation certificate, creamy layer, the different scholarships extended to them… but the intensity of its unfairness didn’t hit me, until recently. I had appeared for the Symbiosis Law Test and missed the cut-off by just two marks. But when I opened the site, I read- ‘Cut-off for SC students- 66.’ 66? That’s almost forty marks less than what I scored. The inequality, the discrimination, it hurt like hell. And I had no one to complain to, no one who would think I am talking sense. Like a friend of mine once ruefully remarked- “We are the open category, openly exploited!” Soon I learnt its nothing to complain about. This inequality existed everywhere; it didn’t matter whether the institution was government or private. Backward classes meant reservation, which, for us students, translated to just one word- partiality!

The Constitution of India is said to be a living document. We can amend laws or clauses which no longer hold true. So how come no one ever thought about amending the quotas? I am not against reservation, mind you. But I am against the facility of it being extended to people without considering whether or not they deserve it. India is no more the caste-frenzy nation it once was. We really don’t mind anyone from the backward class drawing water from our homes. Neither do we think of washing the covers when they sit on our couch! So when the discrimination is not there in the minds of the people, what is the need for reservation? Truth be told, even if people think of forgetting caste-differences, this quota system stands as a constant reminder. I get a feeling of faint resentment for people belonging to the backward classes. It surprises me, for this feeling was completely absent when I was in school. Does it not go to show that treating everyone equally, sans preferences, is the key to harmony?

If reservations are to be given to the truly deserving, the economically backward classes should be getting it. They are the ones, who despite of having merit cannot pursue further education for the lack of financial resources. Only when this class is uplifted can we dream of a shining and empowered India. But I guess it’s meaningless to expect such a miracle to happen when the State is busy passing more and more quotas… But on a positive note, here’s my funda of coping up with this discrimination and healing my wounds- Success is sweetest when won against all odds!!

Hold that thought!!

Love makes the world go round!!

Ah... Finally... Valentine’s week! What? You think I am behind time and should have celebrated the day on the 14^th of Feb? Are you nuts? Have you never been a 12^th standard student? A week before the exam is probably not the best time to let Venus take hold over your life. And nor are the months after March, because those months are reserved exclusively for the future-deciding Entrance Exams. So all the gorgeous guys (or gals

) who set your heart aflutter are unceremoniously shoved aside till the exams get over and we find out what is our state rank and which college we are likely to attend and which branch we will get admitted to etc etc… and since the day is postponed for so long, we might as well celebrate a Valentine’s week!

So for all we teens, love is in the air. But unfortunately, this year, Cupid’s arrow has gone a little blunt. Poor little angel could successfully hit just a few hearts! Among the happy news is that Bindass finally accepted Cal’s proposal… (What? You didn’t really expect real names, did you?) And after waiting for Lady Luck to smile on him, Samy finally got Rash as his Lady Luck, oops, Love! So these two very cute (and lucky) couples are all over the place, fawning on each other, holding hands, whispering sweet nothings, looking every-inch and very much in love… touchwood!

The weird thing this year is that a lot of close friends are falling for each other. Yes, people who have been there for each other in times of need, offering moral support, that’s what you mean when you say close friends, right? This has put up a serious bar on prospective affairs. A majority of people (including me) are unable to decide. Is going out with your friend the best option because they are supposed to know you, black white and grey included? Or are you supposed to believe the old saying “If two friends fall in love, they think they are made for each other, but if they fall out of love, they know they are meant to keep each other?” It’s a grave question indeed. Do you go out with your close friend because there’s nothing about you he doesn’t know and still accepts you as a person? Or do you think a possible break up in the future can ruin your so happy friendship? Tough call!

Another problem of the season is Long-Distance relationships. No, LDRs are not a problem but there’s so many possible problems attached with it that you may as well call it a problem. I’ll be in Nagpur, you’ll go to Pune, we won’t be able to meet, how will we work things out? This is one major question bugging everyone’s head. Different environment, new friends, the pressure of adjusting to these and then having an affair?? Multi-tasking at its peak! The last 20 minutes after completing your project and before going to bed is probably not the best time to work out a relation. Some real smart guy once said, “Think a hundred times before committing to a relation, but not once after that!” Wise words, which most of us seem to have given an ear. I guess most of us are no more interested in someone. Everyone is looking for The One…

It’s a bleak picture I am painting, isn’t it? But despite of that, if there’s one word of advice that I can offer, it’s this that no matter how tough times look for love, if you do love someone, don’t be the only one to know it. No, don’t mean hand out posters announcing it. What I mean is that let the one you love know your feelings- your love, care and concern. It may be hard times for everyone else, but who knows, maybe Cupid’s arrow strikes, just this time. So stop counting petals or waiting for a sign! Go and tell her. Never shy away from a chance to say “I LOVE YOU”... because it’s not everyday you meet someone who has the magic to make you fall in love!!

Hold that thought!!

Mission Ad-mission!!

Clat prospectus, ILS prospectus, Fergusson prospectus, Raisoni prospectus... Yes, I am surrounded by prospectus, forms and all other bits of painstakingly gathered papers which define the Indian College education. And until and unless, something phenomenal happens with the world (such as floods, droughts, famines, earthquake or the currently fashionable terrorist attack), my own little world will revolve around faculty memebers and NAAC accreditions!

Choosing a college is serious business indeed. The list of expetations from a 'good' college is never-ending. Is it an A+ college? Are the faculty members competent? Do they provide good accomodation? Is the premise healthy? Are the lecturers friendly and helpful? And then there's hoards of relatives, starting from Chachi, Mami, Dada, Didi to all the web spinning 'friendly nighbourhood' well wishers. Different people, different opinions!! And in between, poor little me, facing the momentous task of taking a decision... Maybe the best idea will be to send a form to all the colleges and wait for one of them to accept me. But what if more than one college send acceptance letters?? Chachi Mami, welcome back!!

But whatever the queries and worries, they are age-old. I mean as far as I am concerned, I guess even my Mom and Dad sat with flimsy leaflets and their career decisions in their hands. But what intrigues me is the brand new (though not very shining) list of questions that pop-up during college analysis these days. Earlier, the faculty was the determining factor. These days, its the students body. No matter how good their accredition is or how high the rank in the India Today's list of Best colleges, they are just not enough to hide the dark underbelly of activities taking place away from the prying eyes. True, it took a nasty MMS scandal from the very reputed DAV school to draw the world’s attention to this fact, but Indian parents have finally come to face with the facts that their kids are not chaste angels and score a 101 on 100 in morality. Their ‘good family values’ notwithstanding, kids can go seriously wrong, considering their peers and the company they mix with. Parents have finally had it thrown on their face that the Indian Idolisation bug, where anyone can be famous has bitten the teenage group. So no publicity is bad publicity. Thankfully parents have finally realized that saying “My child can do no wrong. We have given him good ‘sanskar’” wont work anymore. Teenagers have never been the best decision makers in the world. So expecting them to do things right when you don’t even discuss what the difference between right and wrong is and how callous mistakes at this age can affect students adversely later is no more in. Parents (although grudgingly) have finally come to accept their child’s vulnerability. They have accepted that their 18 year olds are after all kids, who can make mistakes. Thank God.

At this age when we begin senior college, we start everything afresh. And at 18, it’s a lot tougher to make friends as compared to when we were eight. Going out of our comfort zone and finding acceptability among new people is a major nightmare for every teenager. At such times, parents need to address their child’s concerns and comforts VERY SERIOUSLY! Ragging is NOT chalta-hai. Its never going to be ‘regular college stuff’. We don’t want any more Aman cases, do we? (Dunno who’s he? Open the newspaper, for God’s sake or do me a favour. Just google it!) Our fears are not unfounded. We are not hysterical. We need to be taken seriously.

And yet, it depends on you and me to chart our future. We always have a choice between what is easy and what is right. We need to take up responsibility. We must understand that at the end of the day, whatever we are, its because of our own actions… our own decisions. So folks, carry on with mission admission. Like someone once said… The best way to predict the future is to create it…

Hold that thought!!

MHT-CET results out!!

Today is the F-day... yeah i know the term is D-day but when everyone around you is staring at the computer screen and swearing the F word, you might as well change the term. Do you live in Maharashra? If yes, then unless you have taken refuge at the bottom of the lake, you would know that MHT-CET (Maharashtra Common Entrance Test) results are out today. And as it is always with exams, almost no one scored what they had expected!! Its a deal you never understand. I mean, an average Indian student gives around seven to eight entrance exams, so you would think they can predict their scores with an Abhinav Bindra precision. but these Entrance Exams come, breaking all myths and springing new surprises!!

Its amazing the changes a little scrap of paper can bring to your life... it has the potential to make or break your future! People prepare for two to three years to see the desired figures (ahem, i mean numbers) on that paper... and then, when your efforts don't get rewarded adequately?? Yea, it can be a real shocker, it destroys your confidence... Yes, a marksheet does bring out the extreme in kids. Aspirants either get photographed with a boquet in your hand in the city dailies or in the hospital with dangling IV tubes for attempting suicide!!

But then, when you think about it, do these exams really have the potential to change your life?? I mean ok, you go to an awesome college thanks to your marks or you opt for something you hadn't planned earlier and give it a try, again thanks to your marks... But what if you find that the so-called last option you used is actually what you are good at? What if it's actually what you are meant to do? What if you find out that it's the thing you actually love? I believe that we all have a pre-decided destiny. Your life is a masterplan... so standing today with that bloody scrap of paper is no reason to lose hope, you know. Maybe what you lost is nothing. And what you might gain because of that loss is everything!

And of course, there's always a second chance. There's a section of businessmen called Navaldharis . They are a hardcore entreprenuer community in Gujarat.. They say, a true Navaldhari bussinessman is someone who can rise after being razed to the ground nine times... Their are loads of people who don't make it big in the first chance. But when they do make it big, all the world can do is watch in awe!!

So if u have scored awesome in CET (like my friend Shubhankar, he scored 186/200 in PMT, way to go dude!) here's a VERY BIG CONGRATULATIONS!! But if you haven't, maybe life has something better in store for you. Give yourself a second chance... give life a second chance!

Hold that thought!!

Rain rain don't go away!!

The rains slap again... not the city but the meterological department! Promised arrival of the south-west monsoon winds on Mishtu's birthday had made us pray that for once, the dept guys are right!! But as usual, rain mocked the dept, yet again, and the little gal's birthday hopes were left high and dry! And now, the dept is promising rains on my birthday... Pray again!!

Indians have a wonderful love-hate relationship with the monsoon... when it doesn't arrive, people pray and wish and hope that the dark clouds bring forth some relief! After all, considering the heat in most Indian cities, the dwellers can probably laugh at the face of hell!! And when the monsoon finally arrives, people get all excited, unpacking their raincoats and gum-boots (designed by Anamika Khanna if you please!), umbrella in hand and smiles at the mercy of the elusive Rain God! Unfortunately, this happiness is short lived. Thanks to the amazing maintainence of the City Muicipality, the roads soon get waterlogged and the potholes that were promised to be filled in the election portfolios get merrily flooded. So from welcome Monsoon, its soon damn the Monsoon! But Mr. Monsoon rejoices in sending his little raindrops, people's complains be damned!!

And yet, as teenagers, we love the rain! No matter how much we say "We are almost adults now" in our dignified voices, rains turn us all into ten-year-olds! One furtive glance to check if anyone's seeing and then, JUMP IN THE PUDDLE!! Or maybe dance in the rain... singing Barso re Megha Megha! Or getting the scooty out just when the drizzle begins, pretending that I had no idea that I would get drenched! Maybe growing up brings in expectations of being sophisticated or behaving matured! But the rains bring out the child in me. The chance to be a kid... my last chance to be a kid!

As a kid, we all wanna grow up at the earliest. Its cool to be an adult, right?? Not really. I understand that now. I have a lot of time to grow up. But very less time to be a child. So as long as I can, I'll be a child and jump in the puddles and soil my clothes. I know soon, these little joys will become wishful memories! So Mr. Monsoon, I am waiting for you...

My birthday will bring in the rains... and a year more to my life. But I and Mr. Monsoon will dance as if I shrank a year younger...

Hold that thought!

Hiya Hiya!!

Hi there!! I m Ankita, 17 yrs old, gonna be 18 real soon on the 24th of this month (so u know when to wish me)... i just completed my 12th in the science stream (whew!), though my college doesn't seem very keen on losing me cuz m unable to get my TC even after two attempts... third time's the charm (maybe!!)... But yes, please don't go running with the idea that I am college's my darling girl. Quite the opposite! I am their constant pain in the neck!! But i guess they got used to the pain.. I daresay they'll miss it too!

So I am soon going to a Law school and no, not because I scored 50% in my HSC.. I scored a healthy 82% (though its not what i expected!) and i am still opting for law... Yes i know i could have gone for medical and engineering but I am simply not interested. No i won't regret my decision ever. No I am not being headstrong and stubborn... I am not a confused teenager. Yes my parents are supporting me, and no, I am not being rebellious!! Oh i know all the probable 'why, where, what' questions related to my choice so I am answering them in advance!

Wanna know what am I doing here?? Well I gave all the law entrance possible and now I am chewing my nails for my results... When my fingertips began to bleed, I decided to go for an alternate stress-reliever! Blogging is a good option, what say? So bits and pieces is the strewn, unkempt, messy and very very special parts of my rozmare ki zindagi!!

Tell you a funny thing. Yesterday, a guy who used to study with me way back in 6th standard sent me a scrap on orkut. (Yes i am regular user, n yes, my parents do oppose!!) He asked "Do you remember that we used to sing the song 'Lal jhuti kakatua' in school? Wasn't that fun?" OMG! So many major things happened that year. Our section's changed, we had initial teething problems with the rest of the classmates, one of our best friends left the school... but what he remembered was that silly childhood songs. That's what made him (n me as well) feel nostalgic. Someone's got it right... no matter what major things happen in your life, its the little things that count.

Hold that thought!